Robert Gerard Palchanes
May 1, 1928 - October 3, 2010

As I faced my Maker at the last Judgment, I knelt before the Lord
along with the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives, like the
squares of a quilt, in many piles. An angel sat before each of us
sewing quilt squares together into tapestries that represented our
lives. But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed
how ragged and empty each of my squares were. They were filled
with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life
that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced
with in everyday life. I saw hardships that I had endured, which
were the largest holes of all.

I glanced around me. No one else had such squares. Other than a
tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich
color and bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life
and was disheartened. My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of
cloth together, threadbare and empty. Finally, the time came when
each life was to be displayed, held up to the light. . . the scrutiny of
truth. The others arose, each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So
filled their lives had been!

My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to arise. My gaze
dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly
fortunes. I did have love in my life, and laughter. But there had also
been trials of illness and death, and false accusations that took from
me my world as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often
struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the
strength to pick up and begin again. I had spent many nights on my
knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often
been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully; each time
offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within
my skin beneath the critical gaze of those who unfairly judged me.
And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I
had to accept it for what it had been.

I arose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the
light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others
who stared at me with eyes wide. Then, I looked upon the tapestry
before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image….the
face of Christ.

Our Lord then stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes.
He said, "Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My
life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your
life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there
was more of Me than there was of you.

May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!
Laura, Pops/Dad and myself, 2010
I want to thank all of the friends and family for coming here today to celebrate the life
of my Dad.  I think I would be speaking for all of his family and friends when I say that it
sometimes takes the loss of someone you love to make you really appreciate them even
more then we already do.  We all need to have Faith, Hope and Love in our hearts just
like Dad did, something he shared with everyone that was part of his life. He loved each
of us, unconditionally, accepting each of us as we were, good, bad and everything in
between.  Each of us have had painful and difficult experiences where we felt alone, not
knowing who to turn to, and yet when we did turn, Dad was right there, waiting to
catch us if we fell, and always provided us with help, support, encouragement and
guidance without giving it a second thought.  So realize that no experience is wasted
and no pain is without purpose because in God’s Kingdom everything has purpose. He
uses the good and the bad experiences to reveal His perfect plan for each of our lives
and ideally wants each of us to help each other. That’s what gave Dad hope, that’s
what enabled him to go on and to move forward and believe that all these
circumstances he faced were part of God’s plan and would finally bring him peace and a
sense of contentment as he looked back on his life.  

So many people have turned their back on religion because they think God or Jesus had
no relevance in their lives and feel they should be the ones to take credit for all their
worldly accomplishments and fortunes, instead of giving thanks to the Lord for what
they had.  But Dad never did this and would thank the Lord everyday for everything he
had, including his family and friends.   His faith and love for God was so strong
throughout his life that it comforted him right up until the end.  Dad knew that his family
and friends all loved him and he loved all of us, but he also knew the greatest love came
from God up above, someone who has watched over him his entire life and was at his
bedside when he passed at home. I can only imagine that when Dad’s time came, that
the Lord gently wrapped His arms around Dad, surrounded him in His love, and slowly
lifted him to the heavens above where he would be free of all pain and suffering and
finally be able to have God‘s promise of eternal life, through Jesus Christ, revealed to
him.  Dad did not use God as a crutch, he saw Him as his strength, an anchor, his
teacher, and turned to Him for guidance many times in his life.  Dad gave God all his
fears, his pain that he had suffered, his regrets and sorrows, his failures and feelings of
hopelessness, and in exchange, Dad received God’s unconditional love and forgiveness
and was blessed with the ability to love people, forgive people and most importantly,
forgive himself for any mistakes he felt he made.  He also knew that getting into Heaven
is not about how many material things he collected in his life, it's about what he did for
others, what God had done for him and what God had provided him with.

I cry when I think of him, and even though he's gone, Dad still teaches me through
what he believed and has left me his dignity, family values, love, honor and a strong,
continued faith in God and Jesus Christ. He has always encouraged me to be strong, and
to be the best me I can be, and to forgive others, which I have done, even if they do
not forgive me.  I thank him today for helping me become a stronger person, someone
who has found joy in things which he pushed me to accomplish on my own.  His passing
also made me realize that people should not hold grudges because life is short and can
end in the blink of an eye.  I still remember conversations we would have when I was
troubled and going through a difficult time and how both he and Mom never gave up on
me, ever, and I will always be thankful to both of them for that!  When I think of him I
am also reminded of his kindness, courage and how he believed in all of us, even when
we did not believe in ourselves.   I miss him more than I could ever have thought but
found closure in spending time talking to him in his final days.   

We shared many family vacations together, some with Dad behind the wheel of his
motor home, where we would set off to Wally World and we ended up having a great
time even though we sometimes went in 7 different directions.  We also shared many
Sunday trips where he would cram us all into the back of his station wagon with pillows
and blankets and just take a drive.  In reality I think these drives to nowhere were just
so Mom and Dad could actually complete a sentence without us interrupting since all of
us would quickly fall asleep in the car.  I will always have fond memories of the numerous
visits to Granny’s house where we would spend a few hours listening to everyone
speaking Polish and yet after we left, nobody ever had a clue what any of them had
said.  Birthdays were a regular event in our family and we never really had to put the
party favors away because there were seven kids and right around the corner there was
always another birthday for Dad and Mom to celebrate.  Sunday mass and Sunday school
were something that was mandatory in our family, and not going to either, was not an
option with Dad or Mom.  Back when I was young all females had to wear hats in
church, and as I got older, hats became somewhat embarrassing, so to satisfy the
requirement for attending mass, Mom or Dad would bobby pin a Kleenex tissue to my
head.   Not sure at that point if that was a step up or step down to a bonnet, but it did
come in handy if I had to sneeze.  I always loved fishing and would make every trip I
could to the river with my brothers and sometimes Dad came along.  One particular trip
me and my brothers all got lucky and caught some carp that were a beautiful orange
color and quite big.   I wanted to keep these, so we ended up bringing them home in
bucket, and once home, I dumped them in our upright swimming pool to set them free
and planned to keep them as pets.  My punishment from Dad for doing this was to catch
all 6 of them, not an easy job since they swim pretty fast, and I think it was already
getting dark by the time I got the last one…never did that again!

So I will carry on for you Dad and I will make you proud and continue to help others
throughout my life as you have helped me so many times. I will live like you did and keep
the things you believed in sacred within me, and also cherish the memories we made
together, and if I listen carefully, I can still hear you snore so loud you would shake the
walls.   I know you're with us here today and will always be watching over all of your
family and friends throughout our lives.  When I think about how much I miss you and
what a blessing you were in my life, I sometimes start to feel sorry for myself, but then I
think about all the people who never got the chance to know you, and I start feeling
sorry for them.

Remember that God will mend a broken heart, but it is up to us to give Him all the
pieces.   If you give Him your pain He will give you comfort and peace. If you give Him
your anger He will give you love and contentment. If you give Him your regrets and
mistakes He will give you forgiveness.  God doesn't take anyone away from us, he just
takes them home, only to later reunite us.  And in taking our loved ones home to rest,
we should not ask God why He took them away from us, we should instead thank Him
for giving them to us for the time they were in our lives.  

One thing I have noticed, is that when fall comes and the leaves start dropping to the
ground, the new buds are already there, waiting for spring and new life. Perhaps this is
God's way of reminding us all that there is always something beautiful to look forward to
when something has been lost.

Love, Debbie, Robbie and Laura
My own words from my heart speech given at Our Lady
of Lourdes Church in Whitehouse Station on 10/7/2010,
in celebration of my Dad's life